So, a new year, namely 2012, is upon us! So much has seemed to happen in the past two months alone that I look forward to the opportunities this year will procure. As the title suggests, I'm going to name a few of my favorite things or things that just in general make me feel good about myself and my situation. These are listed in no particular order.
-soft blankets
-kittens (and puppies too)
-babies
-cozy pajamas
-Home
-family
-friends
-the Gospel
-the Atonement
-Christmas
-my birthday
-Junior Mints
-sweaters
-scarves
-other cold weather paraphernalia
-hot chocolate
-chocolate cake
-the rain
-the sun
-butterflies
-snapdragons
-daisies
-hearts
-stars
-the fact that some of you followed the two above listings with "and horseshoes, clovers, and blue moons!"
-music
-the male voice (in song, speech, and yes, laughter)
-laughing
-sleep
-blueberries and cream oatmeal
-hugs
-and yes, kisses
-art
-service
-hiking
-my pink bike
-movies
-theater
-cookies
-pretty dresses
-shoes
-thought-out gifts
-thoughts in general
-conversation
-holding hands
-the prophet and the apostles
-prayer
-My Dear Watson scents-y
-school
-learning
-understanding
-listening
-Nutella
-honey
-chunky peanut butter
-chocolate
-when I feel needed
-when I feel wanted
-when I feel included
-when people set out to make me feel comfortable
-spontaneity
-planning
-sunsets on the beach
-photography
-photo-editing
-reading
-writing
-my sight
-my voice
-my hearing
-my ability to feel
-color
-diversity
-similarities
-pillows
-snuggling
-weddings
-temples
-roommates :)
Well, I feel sufficiently warm. How about you? What are some of your favorite things? <3
01 January 2012
27 November 2011
Long Overdue....
So yes, I realize I probably should have posted after my first week of being out here in Provo alas, here I am two and a half weeks later and writing to you!
Needless to say it is freezing over here and I feel almost slightly ridiculous bundled to the nine while everyone else (who have already acclimated, by the way) walk around in flip flops at the smallest hint of sunshine. Crazy people. Anyway, I have already put the boots my parents lovingly bought for me from Cabela's (hey, they actually have some pretty cute footwear there) and find that my feet are the warmest part of me whenever I wear them. I suppose it's a start. :)
Before you ask, I have been on a few unofficially official dates and have already made some great friends that I hope will continue to get better acquainted with at the turn of the semester. No, I am not married yet. Don't hold your breaths because it's not happening. :)
I've been looking for jobs quite diligently and have planned a tentative class schedule. I've decided though that the job will come first and will hopefully be able to put the classes I need/want (surprisingly, they are often the same thing this semester) around whatever work schedule I can get my hands on before the start of the semester.
In all honesty, I forgot just how dry my skin gets here in the desert and thus my lotion is being put to good use. I even invested in a legitimate chap-stick that will actually keep my lips from chapping. Hurray for Blistex!
Moving on... I have finally gotten the chance to check in with Jared and Keith (aka, my two brothers out here) and thus know where to find them if I need someone to beat up some punk. Just kidding. But just in case, you know? :D
So as far as living conditions go, the living room and kitchen can be kept to a very comfortable temperature! That is, as long as we don't mind freezing in our bedrooms. Tonight I'll probably even bust out my two last blankets in hopes that I will be warm enough come morning that I'll actually be able to get up on time. I feel like a bear, currently, in the way a bear's body tells it to hibernate when it's cold. Not exactly the best way to go about getting one's body on a proper sleeping schedule.
Thanksgiving was nice. Ashley (Mangum) Fletcher's family invited me to join them this year. Needless to say, I wasn't alone for the holiday which is always reassuring. It also made it easier to be thankful that I am, indeed, back out here in Utah and hopefully I will be able to keep an optimistic outlook on all that I need to accomplish out here to be successful this time around. That said, I do miss the family but in the end it will be good for all of us. :) Plus, I don't want to be in the middle of Tom and Mik's race for their licenses and the product of having to share driving privileges with them. I figure Mom only needs two chauffeurs. ;D When did those two get so old, anyway? And Alex gearing up to start going to dances...? Sheesh.
Finally, for the sake of killing two birds with one stone, I will follow all this up with my Christmas Wish-list. :) Until next week!
Cas
Christmas Ideas
~black or white beanie
~socks :D
~mattress pad... you can kinda feel the springs in the twin I have currently v.v
~sturdy bag/backpack (black preferred)
~warm pajamas :D
~North and South BBC on DVD
~headphones
~gift cards are great too
~black skirt
~belt- not a decorative one
~hoodie (preferred in neutral color- black or grey... white even)
~cute hair accessories since my hair is still short :D
~Nutella :))
~pens
~the sending of a few of my hot cocoa mugs would be very much appreciated <3
~It's a Wonderful Life on DVD
~Piano books are always appreciated as far as movies and ballads go...
I can't think of much else. Hopefully this will be enough to go off of. ;) I'm sure it's enough so if you want to you can easily surprise me. Go with your gut! :D <3 Love you all.
Needless to say it is freezing over here and I feel almost slightly ridiculous bundled to the nine while everyone else (who have already acclimated, by the way) walk around in flip flops at the smallest hint of sunshine. Crazy people. Anyway, I have already put the boots my parents lovingly bought for me from Cabela's (hey, they actually have some pretty cute footwear there) and find that my feet are the warmest part of me whenever I wear them. I suppose it's a start. :)
Before you ask, I have been on a few unofficially official dates and have already made some great friends that I hope will continue to get better acquainted with at the turn of the semester. No, I am not married yet. Don't hold your breaths because it's not happening. :)
I've been looking for jobs quite diligently and have planned a tentative class schedule. I've decided though that the job will come first and will hopefully be able to put the classes I need/want (surprisingly, they are often the same thing this semester) around whatever work schedule I can get my hands on before the start of the semester.
In all honesty, I forgot just how dry my skin gets here in the desert and thus my lotion is being put to good use. I even invested in a legitimate chap-stick that will actually keep my lips from chapping. Hurray for Blistex!
Moving on... I have finally gotten the chance to check in with Jared and Keith (aka, my two brothers out here) and thus know where to find them if I need someone to beat up some punk. Just kidding. But just in case, you know? :D
So as far as living conditions go, the living room and kitchen can be kept to a very comfortable temperature! That is, as long as we don't mind freezing in our bedrooms. Tonight I'll probably even bust out my two last blankets in hopes that I will be warm enough come morning that I'll actually be able to get up on time. I feel like a bear, currently, in the way a bear's body tells it to hibernate when it's cold. Not exactly the best way to go about getting one's body on a proper sleeping schedule.
Thanksgiving was nice. Ashley (Mangum) Fletcher's family invited me to join them this year. Needless to say, I wasn't alone for the holiday which is always reassuring. It also made it easier to be thankful that I am, indeed, back out here in Utah and hopefully I will be able to keep an optimistic outlook on all that I need to accomplish out here to be successful this time around. That said, I do miss the family but in the end it will be good for all of us. :) Plus, I don't want to be in the middle of Tom and Mik's race for their licenses and the product of having to share driving privileges with them. I figure Mom only needs two chauffeurs. ;D When did those two get so old, anyway? And Alex gearing up to start going to dances...? Sheesh.
Finally, for the sake of killing two birds with one stone, I will follow all this up with my Christmas Wish-list. :) Until next week!
Cas
Christmas Ideas
~black or white beanie
~socks :D
~mattress pad... you can kinda feel the springs in the twin I have currently v.v
~sturdy bag/backpack (black preferred)
~warm pajamas :D
~North and South BBC on DVD
~headphones
~gift cards are great too
~black skirt
~belt- not a decorative one
~hoodie (preferred in neutral color- black or grey... white even)
~cute hair accessories since my hair is still short :D
~Nutella :))
~pens
~the sending of a few of my hot cocoa mugs would be very much appreciated <3
~It's a Wonderful Life on DVD
~Piano books are always appreciated as far as movies and ballads go...
I can't think of much else. Hopefully this will be enough to go off of. ;) I'm sure it's enough so if you want to you can easily surprise me. Go with your gut! :D <3 Love you all.
30 October 2011
COLLEGE or BUST! >:D
So, guess what?! That's right, I'm finally returning to Provo to continue my schooling at that most exciting college, BYU.
So this is how it happened:
One Wednesday, a month and an half or so ago, I made up my mind that I would plot out an hypothetical budget for the money I foresaw myself having in my bank account by the end of the month (of October) and convince my parents how very serious I was about returning to Utah to attend school in the Winter Semester I had been graciously re-accepted into. I figured the amount I would set aside for the gas money to get there (and get whomever drove me, whether it be my parents or otherwise, home) and reminded them that, although I had budgeted out my money to spending every last cent of it, it was an illustration of what would happen if I were jobless over the ensuing months (which, obviously, is not an option).
Apparently, they had been giving my return to school a great deal of thought that past week as well (which probably shouldn't surprise me at all, because they are my parents) and had come up with the decision that if I were to give school my whole focus along with looking for a steady job, that they would cover my rent for the first handful of months. I couldn't have asked for a better offer and after they let me in on the fact that I wouldn't be forced to pay for the gas money but rather a meal or two while we are on the road... well, let's just say I'm feeling a lot more financially secure for this go around.
Well, a month+ has passed since then and I have already secured myself a place to stay and done all the appropriate things as far as deposits and contracts go and simply have to pay the requested amount this Tuesday which is incidentally an exact week before Mom, Dad and I will find ourselves on the long drive between Brookings and Provo. I had my last day of work on Friday and now simply need to pack up my things and make sure I have all I need to be set and ready to hunt up a job.
So, as it stands, I'm extremely excited and ready to return to Provo even though the timing means I will not be able to come home for Thanksgiving or Christmas. So needless to say, it will be an interesting experience, these next few months, but I've prepared myself to the point of being almost TOO prepared, I daresay, even though you can never be too prepared for college.
Aside from my excitement for the adventures ahead, I thought it also a point of interest to say that I'm hooked on the Vampire Diaries. It's true.
Oh!! And of course, I got my hairs cut recently and have a feeling I will probably make one more appointment before I leave... either that, or start asking for references for good hairdressers in Utah. With such short hair, it takes quite a bit more upkeep than I'm used to, so for the sake of my college funds, etc, I'll probably start growing it out again... which sucks but then again, it's my hair and I do what I want. ;D
Take care until next time! And I feel I will probably be writing a lot more of these upon my return to Ootah for the sake of the people back home. :) Ciao!
Cas
So this is how it happened:
One Wednesday, a month and an half or so ago, I made up my mind that I would plot out an hypothetical budget for the money I foresaw myself having in my bank account by the end of the month (of October) and convince my parents how very serious I was about returning to Utah to attend school in the Winter Semester I had been graciously re-accepted into. I figured the amount I would set aside for the gas money to get there (and get whomever drove me, whether it be my parents or otherwise, home) and reminded them that, although I had budgeted out my money to spending every last cent of it, it was an illustration of what would happen if I were jobless over the ensuing months (which, obviously, is not an option).
Apparently, they had been giving my return to school a great deal of thought that past week as well (which probably shouldn't surprise me at all, because they are my parents) and had come up with the decision that if I were to give school my whole focus along with looking for a steady job, that they would cover my rent for the first handful of months. I couldn't have asked for a better offer and after they let me in on the fact that I wouldn't be forced to pay for the gas money but rather a meal or two while we are on the road... well, let's just say I'm feeling a lot more financially secure for this go around.
Well, a month+ has passed since then and I have already secured myself a place to stay and done all the appropriate things as far as deposits and contracts go and simply have to pay the requested amount this Tuesday which is incidentally an exact week before Mom, Dad and I will find ourselves on the long drive between Brookings and Provo. I had my last day of work on Friday and now simply need to pack up my things and make sure I have all I need to be set and ready to hunt up a job.
So, as it stands, I'm extremely excited and ready to return to Provo even though the timing means I will not be able to come home for Thanksgiving or Christmas. So needless to say, it will be an interesting experience, these next few months, but I've prepared myself to the point of being almost TOO prepared, I daresay, even though you can never be too prepared for college.
Aside from my excitement for the adventures ahead, I thought it also a point of interest to say that I'm hooked on the Vampire Diaries. It's true.
Oh!! And of course, I got my hairs cut recently and have a feeling I will probably make one more appointment before I leave... either that, or start asking for references for good hairdressers in Utah. With such short hair, it takes quite a bit more upkeep than I'm used to, so for the sake of my college funds, etc, I'll probably start growing it out again... which sucks but then again, it's my hair and I do what I want. ;D
Take care until next time! And I feel I will probably be writing a lot more of these upon my return to Ootah for the sake of the people back home. :) Ciao!
Cas
13 September 2011
Of Hoods and Family
As I may or may not have mentioned before, I'll be acting in a play starting this week and I am so very excited. My last few weeks have been crammed full of memorization and mental preparation to take on the task of playing the Lady Marian. Leaving the house around 6 each night (most of the time right before my dad gets home from work) and not getting back home until no later than 9 it has been quite the grueling time and yes, taxing on the nerves and my sleep system.
And me, being the rather self-absorbed person that I am, felt that only I was being tried by the brevity of the time I've been able to spend with my family at the dinner table (our tradition being to eat dinner as a family with no other distractions that the food set between us :]) and so didn't give much thought beyond "I wonder if they'll save enough for me!"
The other evening right before I left for yet another play practice, my youngest sister gave me a rather disappointed look and remarked on how I never have dinner with the family anymore. D:
I told her that it did seem that way but that in a few short weeks I would be done with this production and will be done with the theater of Brookings for at least a few months (depending on when and if I go back to school this winter). However, this simple statement from her made me stop and realize how off it must make the whole family as well when dinner is ready and all are gathered but I'm not there. Sure, this might not be as a big a deal when I'm at college because it will be natural (or as natural as not having the siblings you've grown up with living at home with you can be) but when one seems to be more like a tenant than an actual member of the family, it gives one reason to pause.
It really does make me thankful for how they DO leave "enough" food for me, and even prepare a plate (last night, they even set the salad in a different dish so I could reheat the meat and potatoes) and the fact that my parents don't really complain anymore when I take my leave towards Harbor (instead wishing me a good time and luck when needed). The fact that my siblings care (and aren't afraid to show it) is something that I often take for granted. But then, all I have to do is sit quietly and listen to those around me and I realize I have it pretty good. Pretty darn good even.
Although I am ready to be on my own, I will always remember and hold dear to my heart the times my family has supported me in endeavors that I find diverting and that, even, help my to grow as a person and (maybe even) as an actress! Crazy stuff, really. So, remember kids, count your blessings! :)
<3 Cas
And me, being the rather self-absorbed person that I am, felt that only I was being tried by the brevity of the time I've been able to spend with my family at the dinner table (our tradition being to eat dinner as a family with no other distractions that the food set between us :]) and so didn't give much thought beyond "I wonder if they'll save enough for me!"
The other evening right before I left for yet another play practice, my youngest sister gave me a rather disappointed look and remarked on how I never have dinner with the family anymore. D:
I told her that it did seem that way but that in a few short weeks I would be done with this production and will be done with the theater of Brookings for at least a few months (depending on when and if I go back to school this winter). However, this simple statement from her made me stop and realize how off it must make the whole family as well when dinner is ready and all are gathered but I'm not there. Sure, this might not be as a big a deal when I'm at college because it will be natural (or as natural as not having the siblings you've grown up with living at home with you can be) but when one seems to be more like a tenant than an actual member of the family, it gives one reason to pause.
It really does make me thankful for how they DO leave "enough" food for me, and even prepare a plate (last night, they even set the salad in a different dish so I could reheat the meat and potatoes) and the fact that my parents don't really complain anymore when I take my leave towards Harbor (instead wishing me a good time and luck when needed). The fact that my siblings care (and aren't afraid to show it) is something that I often take for granted. But then, all I have to do is sit quietly and listen to those around me and I realize I have it pretty good. Pretty darn good even.
Although I am ready to be on my own, I will always remember and hold dear to my heart the times my family has supported me in endeavors that I find diverting and that, even, help my to grow as a person and (maybe even) as an actress! Crazy stuff, really. So, remember kids, count your blessings! :)
<3 Cas
29 August 2011
So basically, these are poems that I posted on facebook. Some of them have a little extra explanation to them that was put there the day I posted them and I decided that I would leave the extra stuff there. Uhm... and yes, this does mean from time to time I'll post poems I've put together myself-- you might be seeing a lot of poetry so I can catch up on putting it up... you might not. ;P
P.S. the ones with the * by the title are my personal favorites.
Growing Up is Hard
Do you care what's on my mind?
Or is it too hard to glance behind?
Would it be a waste of your time?
Or shall I stay silent like a mime?
I'm still growing up so can't you understand?
I hate that I'm always at your command
It's not right, it's not fair
For it seems without you I can't go anywhere
Doesn't my vote count?
Or is it not even tantamount
To your opinions and decisions
That all add up to indecisions?
I'm choking
I'm drowing
You're smoking
You're scowling
How can I decide who I want to be?
Need to be?
Live to be?
If you're not willing to set me free?
I love you, with all my heart
But you seem determined to rip me apart
I don't even know where to start
Or even if my choice will be the one that's smart
I am tired now
I am coughing now
I am blinded now
I am muted now
Is this what you meant for me to be?
Something as impossible as a dammed sea?
If not, then set me free
So I can be who I was born to be
10/22/2010
You know what's pathetic?
When you totally loathe the existence of a person and what you allowed them to do to you and what you still allow them to do to you and then get upset and mad at them because they're still there but no longer a part of your life? That's what this poem is dedicated to: those people that come into your life, mess it up, but leave you a better and stronger person for it in the long run.
Life Has Begun
Haunting my dreams with your face
Flashes of memory that can't have a place
I wonder why I'm left to chase
Feelings that I can't erase
Promises made, promises kept
Promises broken, heart bereft
You stole from me what once I thought
Was too sweet to waste or to be bought
But now I stand
Walking through sand
Trying my hand
At a one-man band
My heart is shattered
The rain is splattered
My soul is tattered
How could you have mattered?
A new day has come
And I'm still alone
But I'll cry no more
Though my heart be sore
You stole the best of me
And gave me something better
Strength to see
That I do matter!
The bittersweet irony that plays through my life
Is that I had to be broken and drug through strife
Before I could breathe
And see with clear sight
Now, I hope for the best
For both of us
Maybe someday you'll know
The power behind a woman's trust
Yep. So I was sitting in my bedroom not being able to write my stories and decided I would try a poem... it might be used in my story later... we'll see. xD
* Left to Dream
*
Sitting on my bed, thoughts running through my head
Listening to my fav'rite tunes on chilly afternoons
The colors are dim, shadows smooth and slim
Where are you now, I contemplate, and how
Often you've seemed to walk into what I've dreamed
Sound becomes jumbled while vision has crumbled
What fate prompts us to decide too late?
You could've been, would've been,
You should've been
But now what could've been, would've been, should've been
Is no longer possible
And we are left to dream
Oct. 7th 2010
Dear One
My heart aches, my dear one
My arms ache, oh near one
Please come, my tear'd one
I'll listen, my sheered one
Hope is there, my dear one
Love is close, my near one
Hearts are tried, my tear'd one
Arms stretched out, my sheered one
Words seem hollow, my dear one
Tough to swallow, my near one
Listen close, my tear'd one
I'll be here, my sheered one
There are others, my dear one
Stronger than I, my near one
You can feel it, my tear'd one
With your spirit, my sheered one
As in all my poetry, it's rough but I feel to go through it too much would suck the energy of the moment out of it, destroying the passion put into the words, keeping them from being over-thought or trying to invoke emotions of others for the sake of making them feel what you have felt. I'd rather let my poems speak to whomever has a willing ear or an experience such as the ones I put into prose.
Here are the two things said this evening that inspired my mood (along with other things) and following them is the poem:
I just find it funny how you don't have to say a name or even think about it really. Just the essence of it can make you smile and warm you to the very core.
She wants it to pour so that she can run outside without socks or shoes, without a rain coat, but mayhap an umbrella and dance away the evening.
* Alone No More
*
Rain is falling all around
It's refreshing the earth with its beautiful sound
Its essence is cool
But within me is warmed
With bare feet and a tee
I rush out with an umbrella with me
Down by my side
It is simply a companion
The rain touches my fevered skin
And slowly a dance commences, begins
A pirouette to the right
A reach to the left
It's silent but for the rain
It seems to wash away the stain
Love of past
Hope of future
No name comes to mind
Just a trace of essence left behind
Umbrella swings upward
My free hand down
Warmth surrounds my hand
The one encircled with the umbrella's band
A smile of care
A haloed face
The umbrella is removed
The heart races, the loss approved
Filled with light
A partner have I
One Two Three
And suddenly the rain cries... happy
He apologizes
I accept
Never more alone
As we dance upon the cool wet stone
Hearts sing
Mouths smile
Feb. 8th 2010
So basically, friends are amazing.
I'm so thankful I got the opportunity to say good bye to those of you who really care about me and my general welfare. I'm glad to have known a good deal of you, and although some experiences weren't as pleasant as others, I believe that everyone has helped me to grow and change for the better.
Friends
From now to the end
We'll always be friends
Keep me in your heart
For I will remember forever
The times we shared together
And hope that you do too
My love for you
Will always stay true
Forgive me for being corny
* The Plunge
*
A fork in my road
Rises under the sky
As I stand in thought
And people walk by
What does the way
Hold for me?
Behind me I leave
My family and friends
Ahead I see nothing but
Secret and bends
Are there people who
Will love me?
I stand petrified
In fear of the unknown
Anxious and nervous
Now oftener shown
I take a deep breath
For the plunge...
P.S. the ones with the * by the title are my personal favorites.
Growing Up is Hard
Do you care what's on my mind?
Or is it too hard to glance behind?
Would it be a waste of your time?
Or shall I stay silent like a mime?
I'm still growing up so can't you understand?
I hate that I'm always at your command
It's not right, it's not fair
For it seems without you I can't go anywhere
Doesn't my vote count?
Or is it not even tantamount
To your opinions and decisions
That all add up to indecisions?
I'm choking
I'm drowing
You're smoking
You're scowling
How can I decide who I want to be?
Need to be?
Live to be?
If you're not willing to set me free?
I love you, with all my heart
But you seem determined to rip me apart
I don't even know where to start
Or even if my choice will be the one that's smart
I am tired now
I am coughing now
I am blinded now
I am muted now
Is this what you meant for me to be?
Something as impossible as a dammed sea?
If not, then set me free
So I can be who I was born to be
10/22/2010
You know what's pathetic?
When you totally loathe the existence of a person and what you allowed them to do to you and what you still allow them to do to you and then get upset and mad at them because they're still there but no longer a part of your life? That's what this poem is dedicated to: those people that come into your life, mess it up, but leave you a better and stronger person for it in the long run.
Life Has Begun
Haunting my dreams with your face
Flashes of memory that can't have a place
I wonder why I'm left to chase
Feelings that I can't erase
Promises made, promises kept
Promises broken, heart bereft
You stole from me what once I thought
Was too sweet to waste or to be bought
But now I stand
Walking through sand
Trying my hand
At a one-man band
My heart is shattered
The rain is splattered
My soul is tattered
How could you have mattered?
A new day has come
And I'm still alone
But I'll cry no more
Though my heart be sore
You stole the best of me
And gave me something better
Strength to see
That I do matter!
The bittersweet irony that plays through my life
Is that I had to be broken and drug through strife
Before I could breathe
And see with clear sight
Now, I hope for the best
For both of us
Maybe someday you'll know
The power behind a woman's trust
Yep. So I was sitting in my bedroom not being able to write my stories and decided I would try a poem... it might be used in my story later... we'll see. xD
* Left to Dream
*
Sitting on my bed, thoughts running through my head
Listening to my fav'rite tunes on chilly afternoons
The colors are dim, shadows smooth and slim
Where are you now, I contemplate, and how
Often you've seemed to walk into what I've dreamed
Sound becomes jumbled while vision has crumbled
What fate prompts us to decide too late?
You could've been, would've been,
You should've been
But now what could've been, would've been, should've been
Is no longer possible
And we are left to dream
Oct. 7th 2010
Dear One
My heart aches, my dear one
My arms ache, oh near one
Please come, my tear'd one
I'll listen, my sheered one
Hope is there, my dear one
Love is close, my near one
Hearts are tried, my tear'd one
Arms stretched out, my sheered one
Words seem hollow, my dear one
Tough to swallow, my near one
Listen close, my tear'd one
I'll be here, my sheered one
There are others, my dear one
Stronger than I, my near one
You can feel it, my tear'd one
With your spirit, my sheered one
As in all my poetry, it's rough but I feel to go through it too much would suck the energy of the moment out of it, destroying the passion put into the words, keeping them from being over-thought or trying to invoke emotions of others for the sake of making them feel what you have felt. I'd rather let my poems speak to whomever has a willing ear or an experience such as the ones I put into prose.
Here are the two things said this evening that inspired my mood (along with other things) and following them is the poem:
I just find it funny how you don't have to say a name or even think about it really. Just the essence of it can make you smile and warm you to the very core.
She wants it to pour so that she can run outside without socks or shoes, without a rain coat, but mayhap an umbrella and dance away the evening.
* Alone No More
*
Rain is falling all around
It's refreshing the earth with its beautiful sound
Its essence is cool
But within me is warmed
With bare feet and a tee
I rush out with an umbrella with me
Down by my side
It is simply a companion
The rain touches my fevered skin
And slowly a dance commences, begins
A pirouette to the right
A reach to the left
It's silent but for the rain
It seems to wash away the stain
Love of past
Hope of future
No name comes to mind
Just a trace of essence left behind
Umbrella swings upward
My free hand down
Warmth surrounds my hand
The one encircled with the umbrella's band
A smile of care
A haloed face
The umbrella is removed
The heart races, the loss approved
Filled with light
A partner have I
One Two Three
And suddenly the rain cries... happy
He apologizes
I accept
Never more alone
As we dance upon the cool wet stone
Hearts sing
Mouths smile
Feb. 8th 2010
So basically, friends are amazing.
I'm so thankful I got the opportunity to say good bye to those of you who really care about me and my general welfare. I'm glad to have known a good deal of you, and although some experiences weren't as pleasant as others, I believe that everyone has helped me to grow and change for the better.
Friends
From now to the end
We'll always be friends
Keep me in your heart
For I will remember forever
The times we shared together
And hope that you do too
My love for you
Will always stay true
Forgive me for being corny
* The Plunge
*
A fork in my road
Rises under the sky
As I stand in thought
And people walk by
What does the way
Hold for me?
Behind me I leave
My family and friends
Ahead I see nothing but
Secret and bends
Are there people who
Will love me?
I stand petrified
In fear of the unknown
Anxious and nervous
Now oftener shown
I take a deep breath
For the plunge...
28 August 2011
What Happens in Vegas...
Gets posted on my blog. :)
The family and I drove down to Sacramento on Monday and to be honest, it didn't seem to take as long as it usually does. I guess that's what happens when you have a wonderful book as your travel companion. :D We met up with Jerry, Sarah and the in-laws for dinner and because of our big party (11 people) we were seated outside in the heat of Chico. Personally, at 90 degrees, I feel pretty good in the shade. Ironic how I thought I would die of heat exhaustion after being here in Brookings for the past 9 1/2 months but compared to some of the family, I was cool as a cucumber. :D
When we got to the hotel... we didn't stay up for too long. :)
The next morning, we were shuttled out to the airport for an 11:45 flight.
The three kids were all a-buzz with anticipation. It was their first flight! Everything went nice and smooth as we went through the xrays and all that great stuff and then we had to wait another hour or so for the flight.
Soon enough, we were sitting on the plane and I sat between Tom and Mik. As we sat waiting Mikkaila glanced over at me, out the window, back at me and then looked toward the front of the plane. She confessed to me that Jerry had told her something about planes...
She looked worried so I asked what he had said. Apparently, he told her that if the plane shook we would die. I had to laugh and told her we would be fine. About ten minutes out of Vegas, we hit a bit of turbulence. As she was trying for nonchalance I grinned (rather like the Cheshire Cat, I'm sure) and said, "You know, Mik, the plane is shaking." She shot me a rather dirty look and told me to be quiet... a few moments later I made the joke from Madagascar 2 when the penguins talk about setting the flaming plane down gently... she pretty much shouted "I said KISS IT!"
Alex told us later that she had heard us from her seat 5 rows ahead of us. :)
It took us a while to get ourselves together but we easily secured a ride on a shuttle to our hotel (the Flamingo) and just about an hour later... I was not liking Vegas.
1. Too much smoke.
2. Porn being handed out on the streets.
3. Overly crowded.
4. Too much smoke.
Basically...
After we'd been there for 5 hours I couldn't see how this could be called a vacation (which some of you found out by text) and could only cling to the reassurance that we would be going to Lion King the next day.
It was AMAZING! I thoroughly enjoyed it! Unfortunately I wasn't allowed to take pictures of the stage before or after... or else I totally would have! The actors were fantastic, the music was extremely beautiful and empowering and full of the African rhythm. Love love loved it!
The next night, we had the opportunity to go to watch The Phantom. :O Do I think you should go see it at the Venetian? Yes I do. And furthermore, I would definitely encourage you to take your time around the Venetian and the Palazza.
It's such beautiful interior and very Italy. <3 It makes you want to go to Venice to simply ride on a gondola. :) Yep. (Random side note: I have definitely decided that my choices for my honeymoon are as follows-- 1. Italy 2. Disneyland -- not necessarily in that order. :D) The next day we didn't have much to do but got to go and watch the comic magic act of Mac King. Pretty funny. No lie. :) A definite go see if you have the opportunity! Saturday we hopped a flight at 10:15 and immediately hopped in our car and drove home. Alex felt a little queasy on the way home and Dad said it would probably be nice if Mik or I gave our seat closer to the front to her. Seeing as Mik had spent a little time in the back on the way down, I squashed my not so impressive height into the back seat where I proceeded to read the second book in my series. :) (Yes, I did start and finish the 1st book at the beginning of this week. I loved it all over again!) Tom was drifting off in a rather uncomfortable looking position so, I gave him my knees as a pillow... apparently it was comfy enough.
But here are the conclusions I have drawn: a. I love French desserts! They are quite the fantastic fare and yes, I had more than I probably ought.
b. Unless there is a show that I feel I must see and can only see it in Vegas, I shall never return there again. It was disgusting and sad.
It made me realize again how wonderful I have it. I have the knowledge of the Gospel and know of my divine nature. I have self-respect and know that I needn't sell my body for any reason. I know, at least, what isn't true happiness and at least have a goal to shoot toward that I know, in the end, can bring me everlasting happiness.
<3
Cas
The family and I drove down to Sacramento on Monday and to be honest, it didn't seem to take as long as it usually does. I guess that's what happens when you have a wonderful book as your travel companion. :D We met up with Jerry, Sarah and the in-laws for dinner and because of our big party (11 people) we were seated outside in the heat of Chico. Personally, at 90 degrees, I feel pretty good in the shade. Ironic how I thought I would die of heat exhaustion after being here in Brookings for the past 9 1/2 months but compared to some of the family, I was cool as a cucumber. :D
When we got to the hotel... we didn't stay up for too long. :)
The next morning, we were shuttled out to the airport for an 11:45 flight.
The three kids were all a-buzz with anticipation. It was their first flight! Everything went nice and smooth as we went through the xrays and all that great stuff and then we had to wait another hour or so for the flight.
Soon enough, we were sitting on the plane and I sat between Tom and Mik. As we sat waiting Mikkaila glanced over at me, out the window, back at me and then looked toward the front of the plane. She confessed to me that Jerry had told her something about planes...
She looked worried so I asked what he had said. Apparently, he told her that if the plane shook we would die. I had to laugh and told her we would be fine. About ten minutes out of Vegas, we hit a bit of turbulence. As she was trying for nonchalance I grinned (rather like the Cheshire Cat, I'm sure) and said, "You know, Mik, the plane is shaking." She shot me a rather dirty look and told me to be quiet... a few moments later I made the joke from Madagascar 2 when the penguins talk about setting the flaming plane down gently... she pretty much shouted "I said KISS IT!"
Alex told us later that she had heard us from her seat 5 rows ahead of us. :)
It took us a while to get ourselves together but we easily secured a ride on a shuttle to our hotel (the Flamingo) and just about an hour later... I was not liking Vegas.
1. Too much smoke.
2. Porn being handed out on the streets.
3. Overly crowded.
4. Too much smoke.
Basically...
After we'd been there for 5 hours I couldn't see how this could be called a vacation (which some of you found out by text) and could only cling to the reassurance that we would be going to Lion King the next day.
It was AMAZING! I thoroughly enjoyed it! Unfortunately I wasn't allowed to take pictures of the stage before or after... or else I totally would have! The actors were fantastic, the music was extremely beautiful and empowering and full of the African rhythm. Love love loved it!
The next night, we had the opportunity to go to watch The Phantom. :O Do I think you should go see it at the Venetian? Yes I do. And furthermore, I would definitely encourage you to take your time around the Venetian and the Palazza.
It's such beautiful interior and very Italy. <3 It makes you want to go to Venice to simply ride on a gondola. :) Yep. (Random side note: I have definitely decided that my choices for my honeymoon are as follows-- 1. Italy 2. Disneyland -- not necessarily in that order. :D) The next day we didn't have much to do but got to go and watch the comic magic act of Mac King. Pretty funny. No lie. :) A definite go see if you have the opportunity! Saturday we hopped a flight at 10:15 and immediately hopped in our car and drove home. Alex felt a little queasy on the way home and Dad said it would probably be nice if Mik or I gave our seat closer to the front to her. Seeing as Mik had spent a little time in the back on the way down, I squashed my not so impressive height into the back seat where I proceeded to read the second book in my series. :) (Yes, I did start and finish the 1st book at the beginning of this week. I loved it all over again!) Tom was drifting off in a rather uncomfortable looking position so, I gave him my knees as a pillow... apparently it was comfy enough.
But here are the conclusions I have drawn: a. I love French desserts! They are quite the fantastic fare and yes, I had more than I probably ought.
b. Unless there is a show that I feel I must see and can only see it in Vegas, I shall never return there again. It was disgusting and sad.
It made me realize again how wonderful I have it. I have the knowledge of the Gospel and know of my divine nature. I have self-respect and know that I needn't sell my body for any reason. I know, at least, what isn't true happiness and at least have a goal to shoot toward that I know, in the end, can bring me everlasting happiness.
<3
Cas
07 August 2011
Sometimes Ups Out-Number the Downs...
...but not in Nottingham.
So, thank goodness I don't live there. :)
My most recent "up" would have to be my landing a big part in my community's production of The Somewhat True Tale of Robin Hood. It's a very Monty Python-esque take on the classic tale of Robin of Locksley and I managed to secure the roll of Lady Marian. Aside from my stint as Mary, this is the biggest part I've ever had in such a production as this. I've already started memorizing the lines and, so far, I really like the cast that we've been able to assemble! It's a little odd seeing as Robin is 4 years my junior and the Sheriff (the other man after Marian's hand) is... well, I'm sure he has got to have ten years on me at least and at this time in my life... that's a bit much. Haha! Alas, so adds to the need for me to play my part and play it well!
It's pretty funny because Lady Marian has a rather... bipolar take on life. As is appropriate, she loathes and despises the Sheriff and the Evil Prince John and, as is also appropriate, loves Robin. But in this particular play, my directore has asked me to really play up the two extremes. So far it has gotten pretty interesting on stage, to say the least. I pretty much fly like a bat out of hell at the Sheriff and then instantly turn to Robin with that sort of light and airy voice expected of a princess. It'll definitely be worth the watch, I promise! I will post the dates on facebook in a week or so but it doesn't show until September so keep your eyes and ears (and perhaps even schedule? ;D) open for the information.
Today was also one of those days, though, that remind me just how much I want to get out to school. To be a part of the lives of people in my same situation just seems ideal at this point in my life. I really want to find my place in the world and to do that I must obtain the ever-elusive education!
But not is all dull and dreary in my world here in Brookings. I have finally managed to obtain a small circle of friends. Thanks mainly in part to my time with the theater company but it's a wonderfully marvelous feeling when you find those genuine people that you click with and who actually make an effort to keep tabs on you and make time for you after whatever event has pulled you together initially.
It reminds me of how agreeable I can be when placed in the right situation. Now, if only I could be agreeable at all times and not just in those situations, I'd have it made according to Mom. :) I totally get the concept... it's just putting it into practice I get kind of hung up.
Well, messirs and missus, I'm off to play a newly acquired song referred to me by my last piano teacher. Take care this week. <3
Cassidy
So, thank goodness I don't live there. :)
My most recent "up" would have to be my landing a big part in my community's production of The Somewhat True Tale of Robin Hood. It's a very Monty Python-esque take on the classic tale of Robin of Locksley and I managed to secure the roll of Lady Marian. Aside from my stint as Mary, this is the biggest part I've ever had in such a production as this. I've already started memorizing the lines and, so far, I really like the cast that we've been able to assemble! It's a little odd seeing as Robin is 4 years my junior and the Sheriff (the other man after Marian's hand) is... well, I'm sure he has got to have ten years on me at least and at this time in my life... that's a bit much. Haha! Alas, so adds to the need for me to play my part and play it well!
It's pretty funny because Lady Marian has a rather... bipolar take on life. As is appropriate, she loathes and despises the Sheriff and the Evil Prince John and, as is also appropriate, loves Robin. But in this particular play, my directore has asked me to really play up the two extremes. So far it has gotten pretty interesting on stage, to say the least. I pretty much fly like a bat out of hell at the Sheriff and then instantly turn to Robin with that sort of light and airy voice expected of a princess. It'll definitely be worth the watch, I promise! I will post the dates on facebook in a week or so but it doesn't show until September so keep your eyes and ears (and perhaps even schedule? ;D) open for the information.
Today was also one of those days, though, that remind me just how much I want to get out to school. To be a part of the lives of people in my same situation just seems ideal at this point in my life. I really want to find my place in the world and to do that I must obtain the ever-elusive education!
But not is all dull and dreary in my world here in Brookings. I have finally managed to obtain a small circle of friends. Thanks mainly in part to my time with the theater company but it's a wonderfully marvelous feeling when you find those genuine people that you click with and who actually make an effort to keep tabs on you and make time for you after whatever event has pulled you together initially.
It reminds me of how agreeable I can be when placed in the right situation. Now, if only I could be agreeable at all times and not just in those situations, I'd have it made according to Mom. :) I totally get the concept... it's just putting it into practice I get kind of hung up.
Well, messirs and missus, I'm off to play a newly acquired song referred to me by my last piano teacher. Take care this week. <3
Cassidy
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