How Could Life Get Any Better?

I have a family that loves me. I can see. I can listen to beautiful music and appreciate it. I can speak my mind when I want to. I've been able to be educated and am on a good track to returning to learn more. I know where I want to get to in life. I know what I want to get out of life.
How could life get any better?
I have some of the best friends ever who, even talking to them lately seems to be hit and miss, I know that they are there supporting me. They love me and are setting the most wonderful examples for me. One has chosen marriage and the other a mission then marriage. And I love them for their choices and know they've made them after much prayer and searching of their hearts.
How could life get any better?
I'm secure in my beliefs. I may not understand them all completely but I know that they're true. I know if I do all that I possibly can to become the daughter my parents (heavenly and those on earth) expect me to become, it will all work out in the end. I will run across that faithful son who can take me to the temple to create an eternal family. We will be built around love and our Savior.
How could life get any better?
Well... who's to say it can't? But at this moment, in my life, on my road back to my Father, it can't get any better until I've learned to appreciate every aspect of what I have right now. I don't understand why it has taken me longer to "grow up" in some ways but as long as I understand that it is right for me, that's all that matters... doesn't it?
How could life get any better?
I can walk. I can dance. I can feel. I can cry. I can laugh. I can give hugs. I can receive hugs. I can accept love. I can return love. I can see the good in those around me. I let them see the good in me. I don't wear masks as long as I can help it. I can take praise and I am working on taking criticism. I can write. I can express myself in ways others can and others can't. I find joy in the smallest things.
Oh, how I love to smile and laugh. Listen and comfort.
I'm thankful for who I am and the trials that have made me thus. I am thankful for the angels the Lord hand picks to send to me that buoy me up and remind me when I falter that He loves me always and that He understands my pains and recognizes when I'm giving it my all. I'm thankful for the Priesthood power that I can see in my father and other members of my family. The blessings that they bring into my life and the lives of those around me that I love simply by being faithful to what they know to be true.
How could life get any better?

Cassidy

How Blessed Am I

So, my parents finally returned home from Seattle where they were attending a Manager's Meeting for Les Schwab (my dad being a manager and all). They got me an awesome shirt and shellified bracelet and also bought three movies for the family: Despicable Me, True Grit, and Charlie St. Cloud. Well, seeing as the whole family had already watched the first two and I've been dying to see the third, we watched Charlie St. Cloud as a family.
What an amazing movie! Wonderful acting, moving themes, beautiful filmography and lovely music. Did I cry? Yes. Yes I did.
It was truly poignant when Charlie's "mate" asked if he wanted to go back or move on. The metaphor was really powerful. Does he "go back" and hold on to Sam, staying in one spot for the rest of his life? Never to live the second chance God granted him? Or does he finally let go of the past and live for the future with all of himself, not just what he can get away with standing still?
It's important to remember those we lose to death or even just time but we can't live there in our pasts. We can't cling to what is over. To be cliche', don't cry because it's over but smile because it happened.
Along with my schpeel about dancing in the rain, this is another common theme in my life. There are so many sweet memories and moments that I have with my friends and loved ones. I've lost track of some of those friends, only passing them once a year (if that). Some of the reason is simply that we started to have different interests. Some of the reason, I feel, is because I have clung to the old and shirked the new.
Change has never been really easy for me. I don't make friends all that easily and thus, when I find one that I feel is true, I don't like the boat to be rocked too rowdily. But... if I am ever to be the person I was meant to be, I need to reassess where I am. Who I want to keep tabs on and if they, in turn, want to keep tabs with me.
If I force myself into a person's life, it'll only end in tears- more often than not on my side of the line. Not to say I won't try to ease myself in because another lesson from the aforementioned movie is this: take chances. The chicken wasn't going to get to the other side if he didn't chance getting hit by a car, now was he? Of course we shouldn't be stupid about the chances we take but we can't over-analyze them either or else we'll be scared or intimidated into saying, "Maybe next time."
Timing is crucial! There might not be a "next time". Don't take the chance that there will be a next time.
Back to the topic of letting go and moving on.
I think the reason it makes me cry when Charlie finally lets go of Sam is because of the worry placed upon Sam. Charlie gets to continue on in his life but Sam admitted to being scared of "becoming nothing". It amazes me and breaks my heart to know how many people in this world fear dying simply because they are uncertain of what happens next.
I'm so thankful to be a part of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and to know what comes after this. As long as I do my part, I know that it will all work out in the end. I have the opportunity to be with my family, be the sister to my brothers and sisters and the daughter to my parents, for the rest of eternity. (We fight now and again but I still love them dearly and can't stand or accept any thoughts of not being able to have them as my own after this life.)
I know that when I die that I'm not walking into non-existence. I know that I will continue living and it will get better. It will always get better.
I am thankful that I know that if I die, my family will miss me but be able to continue living their lives and vice versa. I'm not saying it wouldn't take a while to get accustomed to it and I'm not saying I won't be hurting for the loss of their presence in my immediate life but... it'll only be for a small moment and it will only add to my experience and personal growth.
I love my family. I am easily irritated. But I love them just the same. I do not fear death. But neither do I fear life. Whatever time the Lord grants me here on this planet we call Earth, I will take it and run with it. I'm working on being all that I can be. I personally haven't lived my life without regrets but it is up to me to decide whether I let those regrets weigh me down or simply encourage me to keep moving forward.

Cassidy

ASAP: Act Swiftly Awesome Pacaderm

The week is already halfway through! Which also means that Mom and Dad will be home in just three days, I will be on my three-day-weekend in two days and payday is just around the corner! Each payday puts me one payday closer to being back at college and away from this tiny town.
Something that has been bothering me a little lately is the fact that people are trying to persuade me to choose the military to get back to school. Okay. If you really know me, I'm sure the first occupation that comes to your mind is NOT military and if it is... then you don't know me.
It makes me nervous enough when people I know and love are in the military being put in harms way I don't need to become a nervous-wreck for the rest of my life or even for a handful of years when I can simply work and live the life of an average citizen and get to school that way.
I know that this route is mine and that I will get where I am going.
That's about it for tonight... I'm in one of those weird moods. Hope your Thursdays are wonderful!
Cassidy

Two Posts In One Day But...

I finally figured out what I wanted and needed to say thanks to a wonderful Elder friend of mine that I was impressed upon to write this evening.

...I want to see about getting a current Temple Recommend. I've never had one! I've had one of those temporary pieces of paper but... I want a card to tuck into my wallet. I want to return to the temple. It has been over a year since I've done any work for the dead or been able to step foot inside the temple. I think this is, finally, the last step I need to take to heal completely from the wrongs of the past and the hurts inflicted upon my heart, the loneliness of my soul.
Being the right person instead of looking for the right person is my goal for the next two months. I am renewing my energy toward scripture reading, personal prayer, journal (and for that instance, blog) writing, and my temple worthiness. I want to get to the temple at least once within the next two months. The Lord and I both know this is what I need. I'm ready to stop waiting for the storm to pass and learn to dance in the rain. Ditch the umbrella and shoes. I'll run into the arms of my Savior that stands in the midst of my pain and trials, my loneliness and heartache, my feeling out of place, my general feeling of unworthiness.
I know He loves me and has been waiting for me to finally return to His warm embrace. I've made Him wait. I've made Him wait over a year to hold me again.
I'll stop my resistance and let Him heal me so I can grow. I know that my Redeemer lives. What comfort this sweet sentence gives. He lives, He lives who once was dead. He lives, my ever-living head.

Cassidy

Of Pirates, Chocolate Chip Pancakes and God

So, last night I was able to get all decked out in my pirate attire from the upcoming musical and go to a preview of the music for the community. It went really well and I was actually able to look pretty in all my pirate-y-ness. It made me really excited for opening night which, by the way, is in about a week and an half!! Crazy! I can't believe it's almost here. I feel pretty ready for it but I'm not sure about the rest of the cast. I guess I'll just have to have a little faith that they'll really study out their parts this weekend.

Afterward, I hit up the movie store and picked out a handful of movies for the siblings and I to watch this next week. We already watched one (Step Up) and look forward (or at least I do) to watching the following: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, the Music Man, the Sound of Music, Sydney White (not sure about this one for the kids... I'll preview it first), and the King and I. Yes, I do realize the majority of these are musicals but, what can I say? I do love a good musical and I know for a fact they're all good! :D
I also hit up Taco Bell after that and was able to get a few of the workers to say they would come. How fun that'll be if I actually see them there!
So, I said earlier the movies are for my siblings and I. Where are the parents you may ask? Well, they took off toward Seattle this afternoon for my dad's manager's meeting for Les Schwab. They'll be gone all week so it's "up to me" to take care of the kids... it's summer, I work Tues-Fri. Piece of cake? Pretty much... especially seeing as Mom wisely stocked the freezer with frozen goods. (She also included chicken breasts, ground turkey and such, so I will attempt to cook for the little rascals!)
The kids made breakfast for dinner today though (Mikkaila being awesome and deciding my job could be, solely, to do the dishes after we all ate). We saw some open chocolate chips in the cupboard so Mikkaila, being the little homemaker and chocolate lover herself, made the last six or so pancakes filled with chocolate chips! They were even better than the plain ones in my opinion but that is just my opinion.
Today was a wonderful day at church. To be perfectly honest (which I seem prone to be with a small audience such as I have- shout out to Emily V for following me :3) I'm really insecure about my standing in my Father's regard. I always feel that I'm missing something at church when my family share their thoughts and say before family prayer how thankful they are for this or that at church. Well, let me tell you, I didn't miss it today! The Young Women had an opportunity to share their recently grown testimonies since they have returned from Girl's Camp. Some were very sweet but didn't strike me as more than just something they pulled out of the hat to share. (Not to say it didn't touch someone else in the congregation, it just didn't strike a chord with me at the point where I am in life.) I can't not recall who it was, but a few of the girls stood up and shared what the theme of the camp was: I Am More.
Those three words are so empowering all by themselves. I am More. But when you couple that with a faith and knowledge of a loving Heavenly Father it translates into so many more things.
I Am More.
1. I am a daughter of a King.
2. I am more than just a person in the crowd.
3. I am more than just another child in my family.
4. I am an individual.
5. I have talents to share.
6. I have a heart full of love for those around me to tap.
7. I have a firm testimony of the Gospel of Christ.
8. I have a firm testimony that Joseph Smith Jr was the first prophet of this new dispensation.
9. I know my parents love me and support me.
10. I know my patience is tried so that I can become a better person.
11. I know it's my choice whether I give it my all or just give up.
12. I know He knows me.
13. I know He hears me.
14. I know He cares for me.
15. I know He won't leave me alone.
16. I know He sends angels.
17. I know She loves me too.
18. I am beautiful.
19. I am original.
20. I am more than what you see.

People have given up so much to see this Gospel through the last 100 or so years and now it is my turn. My turn to give up the cares of what the world sees me as. It's my choice where I place my energy. It's my responsibility to make sure I am where I need to be.
I've weathered the storm long enough. Now it's time to fight through it and reach the end of this leg of my mortal journey.
I may not know you. You know me a little better now. I love you. I pray that you feel that and understand that there will always be someone who loves you. I love you. He loves you.
It's your time to choose: how is your week going to go? Will you actively work toward sailing your ship through the troubling waves of adversity or will you be tossed and eventually crashed into the shore?

Cassidy

"And though I'm not yet as I would be, He has shown me how I could be. I will make my hands like those from Galilee."